Chapter Five: Physically Adore, Honor, and Love Her

(contents copyright Robert James Vickers. Print out and duplication permission is granted if utilized at no charge.)

“We would be alot happier if we had more sex or physical touch in this marriage!” We all have said it, and it is such a slam in the face of someone we love so much. It is very damaging and a cheap shot! The art of physical touch is very meaningful and creates incredible positive energy in a marriage. But it is the art of physical touch and not just SEX. Physical touch, done in a loving and honoring way, creates a much deeper experience than the pure, sexual encounter.

Our wives are made, by the Creator, to be responders. So, in the event you are doing well with other parts of the book and you want ideas and suggestions to honor and love your wife through physical touch, read on.

144.
Pray for Guidance to Physically Love Her.
Two people know how to love your wife physically, to meet her needs, she and God. Ask Him to help you know how to love her through the physical touch and attention.

145.
ALWAYS Greet Her with a Kiss.
When you get home from work, the store, mowing the lawn or whatever, always greet her with a kiss and a hug for a few minutes immediately upon arriving home. Don’t stop and adjust the mower, don’t stop and shoot a basket, don’t pull the weeds first or anything! Go straight to her, tell her hello and greet her, regardless of what your day was like, with a hug and a kiss!

146.
Touch Her Often.
When you walk by her, say something to her, talk about her, etc. Squeeze her knee gently, touch her cheek, touch her shoulder, run your fingers through her hair gently.

147.
Comfort Her.
Hold her when she cries and don’t say anything—not one word! Just hold her, wipe her tears, hold her and wipe her tears, again.

148.
Help Her to Dress and Undress.
Zip her dress, help her with the necklace or bracelet, help her take off her boots, etc. Sometimes, offer to do it without waiting to be asked.

149.
Hold Her Tight when You Hold Her.
Every time you hold her!

150.
Learn to Hug…
…Not a “tee-pee” hug. Don’t hug her with the type of hug that shoulders touch and that’s it!
…Not an “old-lady” hug. Don’t hug her like your great-grandmother hugs you.
…Not a “patting” hug. Don’t hug her and softly pat her other shoulder.
Learn to hug intimately!

151.
Affirm Her in How She Wears Her Hair.
Don’t tell her how to wear her hair. It’s OK for you to suggest ways that you like it best, but don’t put her down if she likes it different (or if she likes to regularly change it). However, always notice when she changes it, gets it cut or has it done! Let her know, in a positive way, that you notice!

152.
Scratch Her Back.
When she asks, scratch her back without complaining. But also offer to scratch it while you are watching a movie or sitting and talking on the couch or lying on the floor listening to the radio.

153.
Hug for 7 Seconds, Minimum.
Every single time you hug! Hug her for 7 seconds (at least) when you come home from work, while you kiss her, when you tell her goodnight in bed or whenever you hug! Do the 7-second hug every time you hug!

154.
Give Her a Massage.
Go to a local bookstore and purchase a book about massage. Read it. Then, ask her if you can give her a massage. Remember, it’s for her gratification—not yours! Even if you just massage her feet or neck or arms or legs, do it on a regular basis. If you are short on time, massage only her shoulders or her face. Or, if she stands on her feet all day, massage her feet and legs. Try new things.
Generally speaking, it’s not the benefit to the muscles, etc., it is the art of touching her in a loving and honoring way that we are suggesting here. There’s not much of a way a man can mess that up, especially if listening to her requests. You may request for her to massage you more sternly. She may want the massage gentle and soft.

155.
Take a shower or a bath together.
Don’t try to do the things that you want. Do what she wants—wash her back, wash her hair or whatever. Forget intercourse! Buy some special soap or body lotion and surprise her with it. Run the water for her. Light a candle, fix her something to drink, put on soft music, etc., and love her in this way occasionally.

156.
Warm Up Her Side of the Bed.
Lie under the covers on her side of the bed to warm it up before she comes to bed. Then, when she comes into the room or gets beside the bed, roll over to the other side and let her experience the warmth.

157.
Learn How to Please Her while Making Love.
Ask her. Let her tell you what feels good and what brings her pleasure. Let her show you and teach you how to make love to her and with her.

158.
Accept that She Doesn’t Have to Have
an Orgasm to Enjoy Intercourse.
Women are different. She may have four or five an evening. She may not have any. For women, climaxes differ from one to the other and certainly differ from men. Learn her (not good English, but great advice)!

159.
Brush Her Hair.
Ask her to sit on the floor in front of you while watching a movie or listening to the tape or CD player, and brush her hair. Run the brush through it. Run your fingers through it. Learn the indentations of her scalp. Give her your undivided attention while doing this.